This year more than any year before, even more people will sadly spend Christmas alone.
But long before dreaded 2020, we’ve had a global epidemic happening in most of the Western world, epidemic called loneliness.
Loneliness ( together with mental health issues ) keeps being one of the biggest secrets in our society, a secret no one openly talks about.
As we all are ‘very busy’ on our social media platforms pretending we live this amazing dream like life, in which we are always happy, surrounded with loving family, friends and pets.
We also have our super cool hobbies everyone can be jealous about.
Even in 2020 our art, exercise, cooking, yoga and meditation abilities were shared online with the world daily – because we ‘had to’ inspire others with our incredible talents, and show how grateful we are for the ‘lockdown opportunity’ to dive deep into our inner self.
‘2020 was an amazing year for our spiritual growth, and it’s wonderful how much more awaken and conscious we feel now.’
What a load of BS. 🤮
There was never before more anxiety, loneliness, depression and suicides in our society, as right now.
We can keep turning a blind eye to it, and ‘just focus on positive’, but the harsh truth remains.
As someone who has for many years suffered with my Christmas blues, I would love to help the ones who at this time of year get triggered with societal expectations of feeling ultra excited, joyous and merry:
1. Instead of comparing your emotional state with the others, forcing yourself to be happy and judging yourself if you are not feeling that, focus on how you really feel right now.
Stay with your emotions, let yourself feel and release them.
Remember it’s not painful feeling negative emotions but our resistance to feel them can be very painful.
Some of the tools which could help you feel and release your negative emotions would be writing down how you feel, listening to sad music, watching a sad movie, talking to a friend about how you feel. ( Talk )therapy, psychotherapy, somatic based practices ( completion process ), inner child work, shadow work or parts work can help you resolve and heal your pain, diving into its root cause.
2. If you live alone, far away from your family and / or you don’t have a healthy relationship with your family, it’s perfectly OK if that makes you feel even more upset right now.
There is nothing wrong with you and your emotions are perfectly valid!
Fairy tales that mainstream media keep selling us through Christmas adds and movies are mostly utopias, and you certainly are not the only one being sad and alone during holidays.
The harsh truth of our society which is also kept as a secret is that there are unfortunately more dysfunctional families than happy and healthy ones, and many people feel very lonely.
And I am saying this – not because I want to be negative and destroy a blissful Christmas spirit but because sooner we stop believing into all the lies sold to us, sooner we can break through our social conditioning.
Once we start admitting and accepting our human truth we can then start feeling truly connected with the people around us.
3. Share how you feel with the others. Remember being vulnerable isn’t just being brave, it’s actually being smart – if you truly want deep and close connections with others, vulnerability and authenticity in reaching out is the Only way to do it!
Do you feel very connected to someone who brags about how great is their life every time you meet them?
Probably Not as much as to a someone
who shares their struggles with you.
So you yourself need to do it too, in order for people to feel connected to you!
Share with the others how you are not looking forward to Christmas, share that you live alone and you don’t want to spend Christmas alone, allow some time for the planning ahead…
You will be surprised how many people will invite you over, or at least (video) call you on Christmas day to check how you are and possibly cheer you up.
4. After allowing yourself to feel all the negative emotions Christmas brings in you, focus on what you can Give to others, volunteer to help those in need, in your local community or online.
You may find helping others very uplifting and gratifying!
5. Be proactive, get yourself busy baking and making your favourite Christmas food, invite people who are also alone over for Christmas ( even if it’s over Zoom!)
Make sure everyone share responsibilities for the day so you don’t get stressed or burned out.
At the end, I feel the best Christmas advice is summarized in the Bible:
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.“
Conquer your mountain!