In one of my couple counselling sessions yesterday one of the partners never showed up.
Hours later, I received an apology from the partner who didn’t show up with a valid reason – he slept through his alarm and didn’t wake up for the session.
Talking with his partner, it was evident they both struggled in their relationship since I saw them last.
It was also evident that one partner was more committed and ready to work on their relationship issues.
In my work this is not the first time a client didn’t show up for the session – most of the time it happens very similarly, by ‘accident’.
Our resistance to work things through, to dive deep into our uncomfortable truth, our resistance to see, hear and feel our negative emotions can express itself in numerous ways.
In order for the relationship to work it always takes “two to tango” and unfortunately, working with the couples and in my own personal experience over the years, we and / or our partners can sometimes be in the resistance to make necessary changes and to work on our relationship.
And when that happens- no counselling and no therapy can ever work.
Our resistance is not to be judged or shamed, it comes from a very vulnerable space.
We most often resist to see, hear and feel the truth because of a very valid reason – we are afraid of the pain which could come with seeing, hearing and feeling that truth.
So in resisting what is, we are merely trying to protect ourselves from experiencing the pain.
Conquer your mountain!