For everyone who still doesn’t know what I do, what is CP ( Completion Process ) and how it works, you might have a clearer idea reading my client’s email which I received this morning:
Before I start explaining a little bit more regarding my personal experience with the Process I think it is necessary to say I was going 4 and a half years to psychoanalytical psychotherapy. I also went to several NLP trainings, leadership academies, powerful Tantra seminars. And I attended yoga seminars, regressions, retreat centers, mediums, group meditations, Kirtans, etc.
Of course my search-journey helped me get here. I met Angelica in Teal’s Synchronisation Workshop in Paris, November 2015.
Since then we haven’t stop being in contact. I knew immediately I am going to work with that radiant giant! <3
And I did few hours ago, after she had successfully become certified Completion Process Practitioner this May.
I’ve done the Completion Process many, many times before by other certified practitioners, friends and myself.
Actually, we try to do it all the time in our lives. I believe it is the very nature of our beings to send indications to others in an attempt to heal our trauma.
But we often don’t get validated. Others just don’t know how to provide space for our emotions without taking it personal and stop projecting their fears and trauma onto us. Then we hop on to the next relationship, helplessly trying to avoid contact with parents, ex-es, friends, “strangers”.
But how can you act upon it when you feel disconnected?
How can you eat properly? Do yoga, train your physical body when something inside you is screaming and it cannot go out?
Yes, in yoga I connect with myself and enhance my perception but what I am about to tell you I hope it will get its way in your hearts and will open you.
Yesterday I cried all night, all day, all night. And the next morning I woke up with a furious headache like before when I thought I had cancer.
I had so much body pain and only 2 days ago I felt so free and happy. But then I got triggered from my dad. Thought we were ok already but I called him to tell him I failed the exam. He knew I didn’t have time as I almost decided to drop out of a top leading university.
He shut the phone when I told him “Dad, when can you talk, I need you!“
And he started screaming and rejecting me. Last time I failed the same exam I was with a knife in front of the mirror.
This time I called Angelica as I knew nothing else would help me in that moment.
I was sick of hearing other people saying: Ok, just accept him the way he is, move on!
OMG I know how much it hurts, go do yoga! Take a decision for yourself and stick up to it, you know the truth… Ok, ya’ll.. It ain’t working.
Then I said to myself in the mirror while I could barely breathe: “All of the things I am doing are not working. Even if I have said it 100000 times… this really is the last time I will let my dad affect me so much.”
So we did.
I laid in my bed in a comfortable position where nobody can disturb me, made sure the connection on the computer was stable and we took off.
What Angelica did was to aid me to go directly into the emotion I was feeling when my dad triggered me. She told me to say out loud the words him and I said on the phone and it didn’t take long for me to start crying.
Then she asked me when was the first time I have experienced that pain. And that was when I was little and my dad didn’t recognize my success of learning how to write numbers in English at the age of 4 without classes. I went to him trying to show off and he expressed his disappointment.
So I was again with the feeling of unworthiness and disconnection. I started crying even more and Angelica kept telling me to let it all out. Then she asked: “Where are the emotions in your body?” (they manifest physically). They were in my feet.
I answered with a memory when I couldn’t run in 1st grade – as I was the slowest one and I could never run properly. “What does little Iva need?“ She needed dad to touch her little legs and hug her and I burst even more crying. She told me to repeat it 5 or 10 times. So I did and I started crying out loud screaming.
As the process is so powerful they kept moving within seconds. All of the physical pains I was having up until now started to integrate. I understood why they were happening and each of them was connected with an early memory.
Of course, at the end it is a pattern that replicates in different forms which is hard to be realised intellectually when we do not express our emotions. Even small arguments with my boyfriend started to make sense why they happened and why I reacted the way I did – by being triggered.
Everything was happening so fast.
“It is in my throat and chest now“ – I said. “I can’t breathe. Actually I could never breathe properly“. Then I understood why I had a hard time doing yoga asana, get back to professional singing, having problems with abdominal breathing and having migraine since the age of 13.
After Angelica asked me again when did I first feel like this, I answered: I’m in my childhood room and I can’t breathe, I can’t see my dad.. Can’t see my dad.. He is not here.. And I need him.. I miss him.. He is not touching me.. Where is he??? I was in so much pain – I even felt in my whole body the same sensations I had when I was a little baby, shaking and barely breathing.
I used several subconscious techniques to stop the process at it was difficult to dive in. They were the walls I build up against the love around me – I though Angelica is not going to stay..
I thought I would never heal – that I have to finish soon as Angelica has other patients – that I will die if I continue crying. But with the help of Angelica I continued with my own pace.
And SHE DIDN’T GIVE UP UNTIL THE LAST TRIGGER AND PAIN IS OUT OF MY BODY … AND I AM AT PEACE.
Now that was my revelation moment. When I went to the point I was expressing the seizure little Iva was having while she felt some beings were inside her body while she was almost died.
I survived and I was all alone in that little room. Babies don’t live in the illusion that time exists. So being alone for few hours crying I remembered I almost died.
And I lived every second of it with Angelica. She felt all my pain and IS there every second. I FELT how it is to connect so much and express every single bit in order to heal and continue. We all did when we were small.
I realised how the trigger with my dad on the phone was completely different than his own and my own reaction is up to me.
And thanks to Angelica I connected with myself without expecting a certain reaction from my dad. Because that is why we are here – to accept each other and love each other unconditionally. Including me towards my dad.
The coolest moment came when I had to integrate little Iva crying alone and needing her dad. I imagined that all the pure little segments of me, which ran away from all of the pain, went inside the grown Iva now. All of a sudden I felt so strong and I smiled.
Then Angelica told me to imagine a place where little Iva wants to go – I chose a forest.
There I played with her, made her laugh, we cuddled as long as we needed to.
That is actually a moment I can dive in whenever I want to. “Who do you want to take there?”- “My dad“ – I answered – “and my Mom“… but somehow it wasn’t enough. There was a strong urge for me to invite everyone.
Then Angelica asked me what kind of water source do I want there. I answered waterfall and I imagined that everyone is singing there, dancing and bathing, giving water to each other. I realised even my life purpose.
And I discovered I am here to express myself for the sake of the world. I realised this is how I can best contribute and fully integrate.
The night before, I did a guided meditation and tried to picture beyond my physical limitations the world I want to live in but I just wasn’t able to. I was doubting not whether it is possible but whether it will be in service to absolutely everyone.
I was disintegrated and I haven’t had expressed all those emotions in order to provide space for clear thoughts.
The level of my allowance for my own Truth was limited. Yes, we often do know what we need to do. I knew it before but I didn’t feel it to this extend.
I move with ease and receive with ease. And I am not scared to express myself. I know how to hold space for others and myself while receiving my inner, undistorted Truth. That is the magic of the completion process.
Thank you so much, Angelica. Immediately after the process my head stopped hurting, my whole body was energised and I did 2 hours and a half of yoga even though I didn’t have enough energy.
I advanced so fast, met new people, did the completion process to a friend, went in nature. And now I’m preparing a text to my dad full with vulnerability. I am strong and lit enough to provide space even for my own father, who is trying to find his way. I love you so much, dad…
I am always there for you no matter how you act.
And I am feeling your love towards me. I am feeling my own love towards myself and I am living in light. Now I am more excited than ever to advance in my own plans that make me feel joyful.
Also I now want to graduate at my university. And this feeling is not going to go away.
As I know how to go back, we just need others, y’all! Everything starts and finishes with us – mentally, physically, and spiritually. We just sometimes forget they go together.
What I love about Angelica is that she knows how to stand up for herself. She is not making her clients addicted to her work so she can have a higher pay.
Also she has the receptivity to really clearly see where all the fragmented selves are hiding. Sometimes they hide even in objects in the room of a memory. They can be everything – even a whole mindset.
And Angelica is so connected that she can sense even that and guide me. Also she is not giving her own opinion on how should I act in a certain moment but she directs me to myself. This requires so much energy, light, devotion, sensitivity and love. I can even feel her now through me. Honestly… It is insane how more sensitive I have become.
Even when I am walking I walk through my heart and resolved so many conflicts within the last 24 hours. I did physical exercises this morning, too and started making healthy food choices. And only a day ago I was experiencing heightened anxiety and pain levels.
What is more about Angelica is that she is authentic and has an amazing DIVA character. She even felt that me wanting to integrate my inner child with my dad and mom wasn’t enough – I needed the whole world to be there. Haven’t heard about that in any completion process I have watched or read about.
Angelica FEELS my model of the world, my purpose here and successfully guided me so I can feel it too.
She is sensitive, grounded, strong, powerful woman that is active in both her personal and professional life. And that is a coach I want in my life.
Angelica serves through example. Being through so much pain, she has integrated it and can hold space for an army. Easy going, motivating, radiant and fucking positive. Angelica glows! I love you, dear! Thank you so much!