Over the years, with many different family constellation practitioners I had the opportunity, as a representative in someone else’s constellations, to see and experience one ( hard ) truth – while the practitioner would present another truth to their client.
An easier, happier, lighter, more positive version – with which they would end the work with their client.
This has left me in shock, disbelief and distrust, from the first family constellation workshop where I experienced this, 15 years ago, until today.
Since family constellation practitioners often position themselves as God, in these cases they didn’t allow anything more to be said and shared by the representatives within the constellation.
It is decided by them the work is finished.
So as a representative, I often felt muzzled.
And that it had to be as it was because I did not know and this great, respected, popular practitioner knew.
This is their job.
They are trained for it.
I am small.
They are big.
I have no idea.
They know best.
But of course – our body recognises when something is a LIE.
And it gives us signals.
I observed those people, after their constellation with false, rushed happy ending would come to an end.
Every single one of them behaved the same.
They were not able to relax.
Their body did not receive the full truth.
Their soul did not receive it.
So there was no PEACE in their body, in their soul.
Because only the truth can give us true peace.
A deep peace in our soul.
And when the human body cannot relax, in order to help it, our brain takes over.
So I would watch those people analyse their constellations from all the angles.
Some on their own.
During breaks some would come to their constellation’s representatives and ask them a lot of questions.
Some would also question the practitioner and say:
I am still thinking about my constellation.
Or:
I have to think about my constellation.
I am not sure about it.
I’m not convinced.
To which practitioners would answer the same:
After the work is done, don’t analyse.
Don’t talk about your constellation.
You have nothing more to think about now.
Just allow.
Just let go.
Trust your soul that it has received what it needs.
It is sad how many practitioners – in a role of helping others – don’t see this.
Instead, they call out, blame, shame, judge and criticize their clients for their inability to relax and believe in the work.
Bert Hellinger called family constellations The Language of the Soul.
When we help the soul who come to us for healing – to see the truth – whatever that truth may be, that can help that soul to BREAK FREE.
Because every soul carries exactly what it is able to carry.
No more. No less.
And no one can ever take the burden off another soul.
Only their soul can do that.
TO SEE WHAT IS.
Helping people heal is NOT carrying their burdens for them.
Helping is NOT making it better and easier.
Helping is NOT sugar coating.
Helping can never and must never be – through lies.
Because that weakens a person.
Instead of believing in their strength and empowering them.
To recognise the strength of their soul.
In this situation, there is a huge distrust in the client and in their ability to accept their uncomfortable, hard truth.
There is a judgment, criticism, shaming and blaming the client:
Just relax.
Trust and allow.
What is wrong with you that you cannot relax and believe that the work is done?
Why are you analysing?
And of course, the client returns the same energy back at their healer.
With distrust.
With judgment and criticism of their work.
Deep within themselves.
Because of fear, guilt and shame ( family constellation practitioners, together with many other healers, often have the position of God who knows everything ), most of these clients continue to work with them, which further deepens their wounds of not being good enough, feelings of inadequacy and incompetence, distrust and fear.
The question is:
Why does, within all healing modalities, these crimes against souls, this deception of people happen so often?
After 20+ years of helping people to physically and emotionally heal, my answer is simple:
Because the truth is harder to sell.
Because very few souls have come here to free themselves.
To get out of the role of victim.
To see their strength.
To live their strength.
To live their truth.
And why is that?
Because it is easier to stand (sit) still and complain.
Because it is easier to blame others.
Because it requires a lot of vigilance.
Daily work.
Awareness.
Consistency.
Facing our shadows.
Accepting them.
Loving them.
Returning to our childhood injustices.
Crying.
Grieving.
Letting anger out.
Sitting with our guilt, shame, fear.
Feeling it all.
Breathing into our body.
Letting go of what is not ours.
BREAKING FREE.
Please keep your eyes and ears open.
Feel your body’s message.
Hear the whisper of your soul.
And be careful, especially with those ‘big’ and popular healers, whatever modality they use.
And if they sell you something your body doesn’t feel as true, tell them. Immediately.
In this way, you are not only helping yourself and others who need help.
In this way, you are also helping these healers.
So they can SEE WHAT IS.
So they can change.
So they can purify and cleanse their soul.
Heal and integrate parts of themselves they have rejected.
So they can return to their TRUTH.
So they can step out of their role of God the Saviour.
So they can start SERVING their brothers and sisters.
Free your shadow. Live your TRUTH.
Photo credit: Jemetlene Reskp