It’s my birthday today. In this coronavirus worldwide madness, my ‘special day’ doesn’t mean much, even to me.
I feel blessed to be alive and well.
Although just a couple of days ago, I have for the first time in my life started asking myself: “What’s the point of life spent in this much fear?”
A couple of days ago I have returned home from Melbourne where I delivered my first group workshop on Conscious Relationships theme planned for this year. And the last one for a while it seems…
The words cannot describe the amount of fear, anxiety and weirdness I have experienced at both airports and on the planes, as those seem to be the places where we humans feel the most vulnerable and unprotected in the current circumstances.
Never in my life did I feel more relieved than once I landed and walked in my house.
I am HOME!!!
I AM SAFE.
In the last couple of days I didn’t post anything on my social media. I needed to take some time to – FEEL.
What I feel is the mixture of fear, sadness, anger, love and hope.
Sitting down with myself, I realised how much of my life I have spent in fear.
How many life decisions I made from fear….
How many people in my life I have interacted with, in fear….
All the words I have spoken and the ones I haven’t spoken, because of the fear..
All the actions I have taken, and the ones I haven’t taken, because of the fear…
Acting in fear is surviving and coping.
Truly LIVING is acting from the place of HEART.
That is the birthplace of our genuine, true human connection.
My birthday commitment to myself is to PRACTICE LIVING.
How will I practically do that?
By daily observing my thoughts, beliefs, feelings, physical sensations, emotions, words, actions and interactions with others – are they coming from fear or love?
How will I know the difference?
To me love feels free, peaceful, calm, joyous, warm, easy, open, soft, gentle, honest, true.
It’s normally THE FIRST feeling, thought, word or action I feel, think, the first thing I want to say or do.
Unfortunately, too often I haven’t acted upon it and instead I followed the thought and the feeling which came straight afterwards – fear.
HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO SMILE AT THE STRANGER ON THE STREET?
But you didn’t – what will they think, don’t be crazy, mind your own business, keep walking, don’t make an eye contact with them, next time I’ll do it…
HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO LEAVE YOUR CURRENT JOB OR CHANGE YOUR CAREER?
But you didn’t – don’t be crazy, I am lucky to have a job, what else could I do, I will never be able to earn money in doing something I actually like, I’ll be forever poor, maybe one day I try…
HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO TRAVEL THE WORLD?
But you didn’t – don’t be crazy, I can’t afford it, I don’t have time, it’s a dangerous world out there, I can always see it on TV, one day, some day I will do it…
HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO LEARN A NEW LANGUAGE?
But you didn’t – no time, no money, what’s the point of it anyway, when I get time I’ll do it…
HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO MAKE MORE FRIENDS, FEEL LESS LONELY AND MORE CONNECTED WITH THE WORLD?
But you didn’t – don’t know how to, where to go, what to do or say, no one will like me, it’s better I stay home and hide behind my mobile phone, one day I’ll do it…
HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO LOSE WEIGHT AND TO FEEL AND LOOK HEALTHY AND VIBRANT, LIKE THOSE ‘OTHER’ PEOPLE?
But you didn’t – exercising is too hard, I hate gym, healthy food is boring, no time, no money, one day soon I’ll try….
HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO LEAVE YOUR CURRENT TOXIC RELATIONSHIP?
But you didn’t – its not that bad, no one else will love me, I’ll be alone till rest of my life, who will help me pay my bills, cook and clean for me, breaking up is too inconvenient, it will break my children’s hearts, now is not the time, maybe next year, maybe in 5 or 10 more years – timing might be perfect then…
HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO SPEND MORE TIME IN NATURE?
But you didn’t – so many emails to reply, so many house chores to do, it’s too hot, it’s too cold, no one else wants to join me, no time, maybe tomorrow I’ll get more time….
My birthday wish is that we human beings, once and for all – Wake Up, leave our BS behind, step in our Truth and start LIVING.
Aren’t we all exhausted of our individual and collective denial, suppression, repression, detachment, dissociation and avoidance of – LOVE?
I hope it’s finally the time for us to experience life in a resistance of the truth is a self made prison – we are ALWAYS able to choose LOVE.
What do we need to lose to realise love is the only way?
What are we willing to lose, to see our hamster wheel we are stuck on, to see all our superficial gains, greed, selfishness and disconnection from ourselves and the world?
I hope and pray we go back to basics.
Back to our beautiful human love, connection, compassion, empathy and vulnerability this world needs badly.
What regrets do you have?
If you’re waiting for the perfect time to say: “I love you” or “I am sorry or “How can I help” that time is now.
And if you want to wish me a happy birthday 😉 – feel free to call, message, email me or just comment here, I would Love to celebrate my birthday online with you all ☺️🙏
Please keep safe and sane, sending you all much love.
Conquer your mountain!
CORONAVIRUS PHOTO DISCLAIMER:
This pic was taken last year 😆