Being An Immigrant • Angelica Horvatic

Being An Immigrant

This sculpture resonates deeply with me:

 

 

It’s been 20 years for me living abroad.

 

These two decades were filled with fun and adventures, developing new skills, learning about new cultures, adapting to their values and beliefs, learning new languages, pushing myself out of my comfort zone, learning new cuisines, gaining different point of view, making beautiful friends and connections from many different cultures…

 

Except my suitcases, where ever I move I also carry with me my heavy Croatian accent.

 

Which makes people ask: ‘Where are you from?’

 

I often wish I could give a simple answer.

 

But what does it mean to be from one country and having lived half of my life outside of that ‘home country’?

 

For me it means carrying this painful void inside of my heart and soul, where ever I go, forever missing Croatia, its surroundings, people, language, jokes, laughter, food, music, nature, sounds, sights, smells, and so on…

 

And no matter how much I love and enjoy each country I live in, the void is there, it feels something is missing, broken, empty inside of me and no country, person or a thing seem to be able to fill it.

 

On another side, every time I do visit my ‘home country’ it never feels truly home because of all my experiences outside of it.

 

What I find the hardest is that immigrants rarely get validation for what they feel.

 

In our home countries we are called ‘traitors’, the ones ‘who sold their souls for money and better life’, the ones ‘who have it easy’.

 

And if we complain in the countries we have moved to, we are told to ‘go back where we came from.’

 

I would love to hear your thoughts and feelings on this topic 🙏

 

Conquer your mountain!

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