A powerful session with a client whose mother passed away brought loads of stuff about death and grieving for me.
Yesterday, for the first time in my life, I have realised that, by the age of 12, I have lost my biological dad, my foster dad, and the only grandad I knew – I have lost all significant father figures by the time I was a teen.
And suddenly tons of unreleased grief started to come out.
A grief of a little baby girl, losing her dad.
A grief of the teenage girl losing two supportive father figures at the same time.
A grief of my inner child who didn’t know how to grieve.
A grief of the grown up woman who learned to make herself safe by being ‘strong’, by pushing and making it for herself, while not being able to trust and rely on men.
A grief for not allowing myself, all these years, to feel all that loss and its massive impact that it had on my life.
Is there a right or wrong time to grieve?
I don’t think so.
It seems to me that death and everything that sourrounds it – pain, loss, grief – is just like a life, a process. A journey, not a destination.
Conquer your mountain!