This post is for all my UAE friends who feel stuck in golden prison there and are afraid to leave – to hopefully give them strength, power and encouragement – to follow their HEART.
Don’t get me wrong when I say ‘golden prison’ as I’ve lived in Dubai for almost 11 years and first hated it, then LOVED it and then had enough of it.
I still LOVE that country and its people and I am so grateful for everyone I’ve met there, experiences I’ve gained and shared and all sorts of beautiful gifts and blessings I’ve received there…
I will never ever forget it or be taking it for granted.. I feel forever connected to the land and the people, desert, sea and the mountains – UAE and Middle East feels to me now like some ex partner who I will always love dearly and be there for, as true best friend..
For me it is super important to be true and authentic to myself – AND I was lying to myself there for almost last two years before I left..
I was afraid of change.. I was afraid as I had NO plan, no job offers somewhere else, no money security for the future..
I was afraid of what would happen if I leave and run out of my savings before I find a new source of income somewhere else…
I also wasn’t sure where I am suppose to go and chase my dream which I wasn’t even aware of at the time.
I only KNEW, I FELT unhappy and unsatisfied, I knew in my heart I am pretending I am fulfilled there, I am lying to myself and the others…
How did I know that?
If I would have put hand on my heart and look in the mirror, I knew only fear of money was in a way of me leaving that place, for last year or even two…
I felt almost like a prostitute, in its full meaning of that word – I started losing trust and respect for myself almost to the point of disgust at the times…
So I’ve managed – with a little bit of anger at myself ( as always ) for allowing this to happen – to kick the fear, panic and helplessness out, and to pack my things.. I’ve left the place where I was rooted for over a decade…
It wasn’t easy, at all…. My life was a real ROLLERCOASTER for last six months and I still would never ever want it to be different now…
I am SO grateful I once again in my life broke free and stayed authentic to myself as I’m now again happy, satisfied, fulfilled in place where I live and work ( which of course has sea and the mountains and it is green and BEAUTIFUL!:-) ), money and work is coming in Abundance, more than I could have ever imagined!!
I do for work now what I truly believe in and I’m meeting and connecting with the most beautiful souls here..
I feel like a bird who had a broken wing for a while and is flying and chirping again 🙂
What my learning is, what the point of MY essay here is:
Love and think of you all…
Conquer your mountain! 🙂