Angelica Horvatic

Worldwide Trauma Recovery Practitioner

How many times have you heard:  

“Listen to them, they’ve been together for 10+ years, they’ll tell you the secret to a healthy and successful relationship. If someone knows, they sure do!”

I know I have heard this myself at least a zillion times. 

And unfortunately, for a very long time, I actually deeply believed it and I struggled with my mental health – because of this big lie our society still lives on. 

‘Something must be terribly wrong with me when most people around me get it, and I don’t.

I can’t seem to keep love and happiness. 

Why my intimate relationship doesn’t last like everyone’s else’s?

Why everyone is better than me? 

Why everyone except me is in love and happy for a lifetime with one partner( or max two )?

I am such a bad person.

I don’t deserve what everyone else has.

I must stay in a relationship no matter what.

The key is to stay and endure, that is what all happy and successful couples do.

I must follow what most people do, they know better, they can’t all be wrong. 

I am the odd one out.

I must change something that is so fundamentally wrong with me and be like everyone else.

I will work hard and get it.

I will be like everyone else.

I must belong. 

I want to belong. 

I need to belong.’

It took me a while to passionately and thoroughly research, study and practice, work with the individuals and the couples, see, hear and feel clients, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, strangers of different ages, from different cultures and from all walks of life.

And I got to conclude after 20+ years of my research that longevity as a measure for success and health of a relationship is – A Myth – and one of the biggest lies we unfortunately still brainwash our children with.

Unfortunately – only the teeny-tiny minority of the couples who stay together long term – Practice healthy, loving, conscious and mature, vulnerable and intimate partnerships.

I hope many young women and men get to read this before they suffer with their mental health or even consider taking their own life, because of this super Dangerous and unfortunately widely endorsed and accepted Social Stigma.

“Longevity in a relationship is like a badge of honor. People can feel successful and proud when they tell someone how long they have been together.

When we treat Longevity as the definitive marker for success in a relationship, we think that anyone who is in a relationship that has lasted a long time, has the key to a Successful Relationship. They Might.

Or what they may have is the key to creating a Toxic Dynmic that lasts A Lifetime. 

If people recognised that longevity should Not be the definitive measure of success in a relationship, the entire Structure of Society would have to Change. “

~ Teal Swan 


Photo credit: Esther Ann