I was inspired to write this post after watching a short video of a young man who shared his experience of 10 days of vipassana meditation.
Don’t get me wrong, I actually want to try it too, so this is Not a post against vipassana meditation. 😉
Man’s interpretation of his ‘negative’ emotions in the video, his proud speech about how he ‘navigates’ through his negative emotions and focuses on separating himself from them is The Reason why I am writing this.
It is true, we are Not our emotions.
But do we need to ‘navigate’ through our positive emotions too and are in such a desperate need to feel separate from them too?
We are human beings who Feel, not machines who suppose to be in the state of bliss, peace and harmony 24/7.
And when after 10 days of vipassana meditation, reality hits – we are at square one again, struggling to Live in this world as physical human beings surrounded with less peace and bliss.
There are No ‘negative’ nor ‘positive’ emotions – its just how we are still unfortunately taught and conditioned to perceive them.
We have been shamed, blamed and punished for feeling those emotions as children, no wonder we as adults think they are bad and that we must ‘navigate’ through them, and to see them as something we need to separate & run from.
It was our only way to cope, so avoidance became our coping mechanism as we needed to feel safe.
Unfortunately today too many people struggle in their relationships exactly because of this pattern.
When one partner is clearly upset – if they are angry for example – another person judges, shames or blame them ( silently too ) and leaves them to ‘navigate’ through their ‘negative emotions’ as they themselves are not able to deal with their own shadows in a loving way.
And that’s the reason why their partner can Never feel safe with them.
And where there is no safety in a relationship There Can Never Be a True Deep Emotional Connection between two people.
They have both obviously been parented in a similar way and haven’t healed their childhood trauma hence why they would attract each other in the first place.
It is important to see our uncomfortable emotions ( our shadow ) not as BAD and negative.
They are not our enemy.
Our negative emotions carry a super important, beautiful and painful message to us from the past.
They are asking for healing of our past wounds.
Those emotions Need Healing.
Silencing them is NOT a healing.
They need to be allowed to be embraced, felt, released, validated, accepted, understood, loved.
And oh my goodness I can’t describe to you how much more authentic peace inside we can feel and how much deeper we are able to emotionally connect with ourselves and others, after committing ourselves to some good old shadow work. 😉
I do feel and believe that quality of our life depends on the quality of our relationships.
So let us stop ‘navigating’ and running away from the parts of ourselves that need us the most.
Let us stop with the punishment.
Let us learn to love and accept ourselves entirely and completely.
Let us feel when it is time for vipassana and when we need to do the shadow work – as we can do both, of course 😉
Let us conquer our mountain!